You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
