she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
True college students do jello shots in the library
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