Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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