My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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