I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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