her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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