Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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