Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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