Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize