Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
