No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
