We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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