it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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