Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
