I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
