Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
