Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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