There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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