Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
