Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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