great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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