..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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