i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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