Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize