Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body