Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.

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(831): View more from California

I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.

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(720): View more from Colorado

When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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(207): View more from Maine

She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

(910): View more from North Carolina

Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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(415): View more from California

Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator

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(815): View more from Illinois

It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.

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