Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?

(305): View more from Florida

Its worth a shot.

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(909): View more from California

flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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(315): View more from New York

Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire

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(315): View more from New York

I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex

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