Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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