nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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