I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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