At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
