you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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