Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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