My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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