forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
