I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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