I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
