im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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