I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
