is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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