Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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