I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
