I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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