I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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