So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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