thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b