Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered