She went from zero to smokin in five shots
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
