I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.