New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I believe in your delicious
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
