Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize