I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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