You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize