ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize