oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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