Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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