My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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