on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
